he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
