Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
