I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
