Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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