Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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