I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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