I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
