I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
