I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
