stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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