dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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