so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm really busy with my period
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