I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The Olympian is in my bed
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
