Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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