oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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