Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
