Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
