Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
