Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I wish you could order shots online.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
