He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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