all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
