some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
