Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
