ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
