haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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