Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
