You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
