I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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