I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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