i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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