Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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