she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
