There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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