How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
