I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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