I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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