Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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