Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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