I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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