the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
