I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
