ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the day after is always just damage control
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
