Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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