only if we run a train.
done.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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