Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
