yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
