Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
