HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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