Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Success! We fucked roommates!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
