We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
